Vapaus, November 10, 1955

              m
M-i
f f - ii:.
mM:' .
m m-iiiii
iiew
An American Reporter Finds the *New Look^
(We priot be)ow a qoestlon and
answer report made by Henry
Sbapiro who was United Press
correspondent in MOSCOHT from
1937 to 1953. The UP sald, in re-cording
the interview, tbat tbey
had assigned Sfaapiro to find out
"how genuine is the new loeii in
Russia." This is Shapiro'8 report, :
issued a few days ago, after a re-tum
visit. — Editor.)
Q — What is the single most strik-ing
change you have notice'd since
your retum?
weJl. The high American livlng
standard is common Jsnovledge to
most Russians I had knovvn >efore
and t h o s e l have seen since my
retum. But he wouId not necessarily
agree that Americans live bappily.
On the basis of Soviet literature,
press and radio plus the few Holly­wood
films they haVe seen, many
Russians think of the United States
as replete wita violence, criminality,
juvenile delinquency and racism.
Q.—Have Mosoow prices and supr
plies (food, clothing. housing; trans-
«A.- The moment I crössed the i entertainment) changed
.Leaf robkie Earl BaJfour is off to a goodstart in the NHL as he scored his fourth
i - v r -goal of the seasbn and the Öpenirig goal in ä recent game against Detroit. Folr
: lowing in Balfour's fooisteps, clubmate Tod Sloane went one better to give the
Leafs a 3 — 1 decision oyer the yisiting team at Toronto's Maple Leaf Gardens.
mi
m
.- Cancer, polio , rheumatic heart
.^disegse, p h e i^
vrculosis — ali these diseases claim
m^or tolis among children. And.
yet ali of - them combined <iö hoi
.ij^ise as many young fatalitles as
*4he ängle grieatest killer of children
accldents. '"}'•''\
3:*in 1953, accidents in -the USA
cteimeid the lives of 11,185 children
.^tween the ages of one and 14.
ijlie nine vdeadllest diseases öf child-hjSod
claimed tjie lives öf 10.768 in
.: the same age group, Certaihly .in
'•'/•^i^^ of the statlstics and of thousands
^ « o r e that could be ciU-d it is justi-jtkble
to treat accidents as a major
' jmbMc heaith: problem. •
JvThis; in effect is «fhät-has been
. ^ n e by Dr. Harry F. Dietrich arxd
•^rs. Sidonie M Gruenberg in. thelr
.''f^phlet, Your Child's Safety; pub-l
^ e d by the Public Affalrs Conunit-
^ ^ ^tfee In cpapera.tion; with the Nation-v,
wide (Farm Bureau) Insurance Com-
: /ihe, pämphlet hotes that the priri-
; «ipal causes öf accldental deaths in
1954 were motor vehicle accidents
:i<4.100), drownlngs (2,000). bums
3,ft,850) fails (700) and poisons (4^
• Äi: Gertalnly many of these accidertts
preventatole, amd equally certain-rly,
the responsibility for prevention
iÄ.as much a communlty one is
indiyidual one. Although no;
ilgiires öre given, it is ari: obvious
. aasumptioh that the ratio öf acci-dents
in övercro\vded slum areas wäs
:[mariy ; times :that-of oreas where
-•rliöuslng cpnditions are decent. This,
ipf course, is true of every disease
and health hazard afflicting children
adults. ,
Sbf cöurse, the best way tö prevent
.c^ldiren fi-om being victlmized by
• iieayy city traffic is by pröviding
them with decent play areas away
^ p m that traffic.
:> vv-Equallv obyicoisly, ehfofcement of
"^^e fire codes. eliiiiination of dan-
. gerous room heaters by forcirig land-ibifds
tö provide decerit cenirai heat-ing,
firepröofing and pröviding ade-tliiate
livlng space for evei7 faniily
at x-euts they cah afford — ali of
these wöuldadd up to .a vast re-dacticn
Iri the number of child
victims of fires. Poverty aiid; pver-:
ciov/ding are the germs which cause
accidents just as surely as the pneu-niococcus
causes pneumonia.
Because this'is true, "prophylaxls"
against accidents is primarlly a so­cial
problem, one in which the labor
mövement raust play an • important
päirt. Hcwever- there are secondary
äsp>ect3 of accident preveritipn on an
indivld,i:t3il basis. iandhere the authors
öf the pamphlet offer some •useful
suggestlons. '
For example, they discuss precau-tlons
that should be taken by an
adult riding alone in a car with a
emali child. Many mothers and
fathers insist that the child remain
seatsd, next to the dx*iver, becaiise
they feel this affords the maxinium
safety. Not s6. Actually, the seat
next tq the driver's is the most
dangerous place in a car. It is from
here that children can be sent hurt-ling
against dasnboard or windshlelä
when the car stops sh'ort. Mucli
safer for children is a standing posi­tion
at • the right shoulder of the
driver. In this way the driver can
use his or her arm or, if necessary,
body to protect the child \vhen a
car stops short.
Other precautions recommended are
safety belts, modeled after thase
used by Commercial airlihes, which
are no\v beihg lised increasingly in
cars. or Special paddihg for the
dashboard, which ireaders may have
noted is beirig offered as optional
equipment on soine nevv auto modelsi
The Public Affairs pamphlet offers
one other approach whlch is well
%vorth notirig. It emphasizes that
pairents shouJd have two goaJs in
accident. prevention. • The hrst, in
the first t\vo or two and one-half
years cf the child's life. should be di-rected
cxclusively at keeping the
baby "out of mischief." After that
the goal should be as much educa-tioriäl
as custodial. The parent should
keep in mind the approachnlg day
when the child will no longer be
under constant supervision. That
day cömes when the 5-y«ir-old or 6-
year-old enters school. From then
on, parents must depend largely on
the habits instilled in the preschool
years to assiire protection of their
children. And such habits can only
be formed with the help of some
dangerous — but not too dangerous
-- experience,: and wlth a great
ma.ny good examples set by their
parents. •
Finnish-Soviet border ivest of Lenin­grad
I was struck by the extraordinary
courtesy and friendliness not only of
officials but of private citizens. They
no longer avoid foreigners but instead
were eager to chat with me. Ärid the
first newspaper I read was refreshing.
From the press have disappeared the
phrases like "vvarmongering Ameri­cans,
cannibals. hyenas."
Q.-r When you taik with a Russian
man-in-the-street these days, what is
the first question he asks?
A.r— He asks: "Does America-real-ly
want war with the Soviet Union?"
I believe, in his own mind he now has
become pretty well assured that the
answer is "No". Then he inquires
about American politics, livlng stan-dards
and foreign policy.
Q.—Suppose you should ask him:
"Is the World predestined to become
Communist?"
A.—He would say fyes" and he
would believe it thoroughly. The
younger generation of Russians has
grown up indoctrinated since 1917 to
believe World communism is inevit-able,
His view, as seen through
Marxist doctrine and little else, is
one of steady. growth of Communist
power and a similar decline of capi-tallsm.
That view has not changed
since Stalin's death.
Q.—Suppose you should äsk him:
"But don't you think Americans live
well and happily?"
A.—He woald agree Americans live
since you were there last?
A.—Prices of food and clothing
have changed hardly at ali in the last
two years. But the stores do appear
to be better stocked and there' are
fewer shortages. People on the streets
appear better dothed. There have
been some price reductions on cer-tain
manufactured articles such as
household equipment, cameras. bi-cycles,
refrigeratots. Entertainment
is in a lighter vein — there is more
comedy and satjre in the films,
theater and radio.' There has been a
steady increase in foreign plays and
movies and visiting foreign enter-tayiers.
• .
Housing rents are low. But despite
a substantial building program only
a little dent 'has been made in a
most serious housing crisis — prob-ably
the worst in any Europeancapi-tal.
Q.—Has censorship for American
reporters eased?
A.—Though formal censorShip con-tlnues
foreign correspondents are now
able to report more Ireely than at
any time "since the war. Censors
work faster and are more reasonable
than anytime within. my experience
during the past.20 years. Reporters
have far greater latitude for ^feritical
comment on Soviet domestic and fo­reign
policy and Soviet personalities.
The seamier side of Russian life,
including crime, can naw be reported.
Q.—Has travel become more re-
DANA WILL DEFEND TITLE IN 1956
m..
m
i . s ARTISTS
PENIAL
/Charlie Chaplin has sent a cable
•"trom- his Swiss home to friends ih
='New York säying that every American
' now is "a prisoner on pröbation with
a-tehain around his leg."
4 ;ärhey ' could be jailed any time"
tfiey might disagree with the policy
makers in Office, he said.
•'"^he world-famous film actor, who
•eold öut ali his United States interests
^•hen refused permission tö re-enter
tb« countrj-, sent the cabie to sponors
Ö| an exhibition pf the work of Rock-
•vwll Kent, noted US. artist.
,-'r'*rhe sponsors said the exhibition.
Kehfs first in LI years, was to raise
iunds to enable him to start a legal'
;|ight for a passport. refused by the
*UÄ State Department since 1951.
:,,'Kent.is trying to obtain a pass­port
to paintabröad. The State de-partment
refused the passport for
•'*rayel anywhere for any purpose."
.X bhaplin^aid in his message: '-The
; ':hatural right of every free man to
• iravel is being violated more and
more by the unscrupulous withhold-ing
of passports.
^^^Thls situation is most alarmlng.
For every American today, whether
jiq, knows it or not. is a prisoner on
.probatlon with a chain around his
CHAINED
leg to be dräwn in by a jailer at any
time he may disagree with the poli-tlcal
policy-makers who are iu tem-porary
power.
'And who knows that what vte
agree about tbday. we may disagree
about tomorrow. ".
"Such international ärtists as -Paul
Robeson and Rockwell Kent, wriöse
art is a credlt to America and whöse
art has enrfched understanding ;.be-t\
veen America > and Europe, are
chained by this vlcious and dangerous
"policy." ; ^ • ,
Xhaplin added: '-To deny the right
to travel to Americans held in such
general respect abroad is stupid and
inhuman. It destaroys American pres-tige
and creates doubt and suspicion
in the countries whose friendShlp
America most needs.
This is not a plea alone,for Ameri­can
artists in chains, but for every
American over \vhose fundamental
freedom this menacing shadow is
cr55plng. . • ; •
"The violation of the right to travel
affects every aspect of American de-mocracy
and freedom. .That is why
nothing can be of greater Importance
than this effort by the Emei-gency
Civil Libertles- Committee."
Remember the truer-than-fictlon
Story of the husband and wife who
became Olympic champions together?
It was at the Helsinki Olympic games'
ih 1952, when Elmil Zatopek became
a gi-eat Czech runner, brought off
a triple victory. At the same meet,
his wife, Dana, a physical training
instructor , won the javelin throw.
A wonderful Story — but little was
knowh of Dana herself, or the hard
work she had to put in to attain thes
form that won her an Olympic and
an European title.
Like many other great athletes,Da-r
na .wa5 a reluctant cönvert to the
sport in whlch she eventually be­came
the wörld's best . . . her first
love was handball, and the club of
which slie was captain had twice
won national championships. ,
Her first venture as a javelin-thrc'\
ver came wheri shs tpöi-part in a
sports meet which cöhcluded a course
for physLcal • traininj^ instructors.
Since there was only; one entry for
the javelin trirow Dana was persuad-e
d t ö b2 the second cöntestant. She
erherged the Winner, beating the na-ticnal
record-holder.
iBy becoming a javelin :thrower Da­na
Ingröva not öhly• foUnd her real
groove in sport but also met the
man she was later to marry.. And
it is interesting to relate' that these
twö who won Olympic gold medials
tcgether, the first husband and wife
to do SO. were bom oh the same day
i I the same month and year.
Having shocked the experts by beat­ing
the record-holder in her first
competition, Dana proceeded to win
the Czechosloyak title four weeks
lateri That v^^as: in 1946.
Tw'o j-ears later she f Inished seventh
in the Olympic jayelln at Wembley
after «craping into the team by the
skin öf her teeth; the Czechoslovak
quali^ing standard for, the trip to
England being ,131 f t.' 2t& ins. Etena
thröwing 131 ft. AV» ins.. In London,
the Games ovef. Emil and Dana be­came
engaged. They tt-ere married
tothe foUoivihg year.
inspired and aided by her husband.
she began training for her next goal
- - victorj' in the 1952 Olympics.
Througliout the intervening years
her form steadily improved.
Then came. Olympic year, •1952.
and, ön a sklihg höliday along with
Emil. she broke her left colar bone
with the Games only four months
away, Manj* an athlete would have
thröwn in the sponge. But. with her
left shoulder immobilized in plaster,
Dana continued to train ön with
determination. Came August and the
Olympics. Emil won the 5.000 metres,
the most cxcitlng race of the Games,
while Dana sat in the dresslngroom,
her head wrapped in a towel deter-mined
not to listen to the nerve-racking
noises wafting in from the
arena. Five mmutes after her hus-band's
win. swept upwards on a
zooming .wave of excitement, Dana,
•with her very first throw, tossed the
javelin what proved to be the win-ning
distance — and an Olympic
record to boot! \
Last year, she added the Em-opean
title to her Olympic championship,
despite an unexpected liandicap. Dur­ing
hl-oinkö at a woödland pöol, she
was tossed into the water by Eihil
and a friend, emergmg with a broken
.^ankleJ.
Misfortune struck a second time
when she broke the same ankle a
second time, but even this did not
kili her enthusiasm. She eontinued
to throw, even with the plaster on
her leg. But the' sum total is • a
left shoulder. that functions' none
too freeiy and a groggy ankle that
deprives her of much of her original
speed.
Day ih and day out Dana trains
two to •two and a half hours each
day. Her routine includes 50 throws
at varying speed and for rising
distances, sprinting, jumping, basket-ball
and an abuoidänce p f friee gym-nastics..
In Winter she exercises with
barbells up to 44 Ibs. in weight, the
heavy medicine bäll, does •fope-climb-ing,
chops wood. Of 1956 Olympic
prospects she; sa,ys, modestly: "I'm
^hopeful.":
ars rn
Dl tiring Napöleon^s l^iiine
A collective farmer from Azerbaljän,
Mahmud Alyazov is getting on ih
years. He wasseven years old ,when
the Batile of Waterloo wasfought. He
was already Weil ;on.'into middle age ä t
the time of the Crimean 'War.
Aged 147, Alyazov has avivid me-mory.
; In conversatloh he frequently
talks about events that häppened a
century ago.
Despite his age. he still Avorks on
the collective f arm — he is indignant
at any suggestion that he should re-tire..
He started work as a shepherd
at the age of 15, so that makes 132
years of work not a bad record!
Not, öf course, that he's still a shep­herd!
Today he specializes in fruit
and vegetables.
He had a big family. and töday in
the little mountain village of Pirsala,
where he has lived ali his lifö, there
are över a hundred of his descendants.
The oldest is ä daughter who cele-brated
her huridredth birthday this
year; the youngest is a great-great-granda
ughter. Afruza who doesn't go
to school yet.
Just recently he has been in Moscow
to visit the Agriöultural Exhibition. It
was the first lohg joumey he had
made in his life. :
He eagerly accepted the invitatioh
and In Moscow \vas keen to see every-thing
and miss nothing. He arrived
at the exhibition sharp at 8 am. each
day and stayed; there uhtil five.
: Ayhen he returned home. he ex-plalned
he had tö be able to give. a
full account of the Soviet capital to
little Af ruza.
Thö news of the exhibltion's oldest
visitor spread like lightning and a
crowd dogged his footsteps.
His step- -vyas steady and firni and
he ran up the stalrways with ease.
As he was entering one pavilion,
soiheone pointed öut an old man of 85
heavily bearded and satd: "Look
there's someone like you!"
Mahmud glanced at ;the. old chap.
with -his kind, laiughing eyes and re-marked:
"He'S_ s^Ul a child!"
!^Then he rolled up his sleeves, ap-proached
the old män and made a
cheerfui suggestion to hini: "Gyule-shek?
The old chäp .couldn't tmderstand
the Azerbaijan word, but it vfas plain
from Mahmud'sgestures that he was
suggesting a wrestling bout. So pre-tending
to be afraid, the 85-yeär-old
"ypungster" hurried away. A burst of
laughter froni everyohe foliowed him.
Mahmud was continuaUy beset by
photographers and film cameramen.
The cameras clicked away, the flashr
bulbs flared..
He posed patiently, but qnce he ask-ed:"
Whydo you keep shootlng, and
miss everytime?"
He was invited everjnvhere to see
pavilions and meet exhlbitörs. He was
photographed with visitors from Chi­na,
India, Germany nd Norway.
He willingly accepted the Invitations
but he spent the most time In the
Yourig Naturallsfs pavilion.
He found it almpst. Incredible that
everythirig , shown there had been
grown by children. He spent a lot of
time talklng tö thes chUdren, telling
them äll about himself.
" i shan't taik about the old days"
he said. It's very sad to remember
them, 111 taik about our times.
•"As soon as a collective fann was
set up in O U T village I joined.
laxed for foreigners?
A.—Yes. Pormerly barred areas
such as Siberis, Central Asia, ,the
Volga reglons and the Caucasus now
are accessible although many .other
areas are still out: of = bounds. It is
easier and f aster to obtain permission
to travel to remote outposts.
Q.-rFrom your own personal.obser-vations
and conversations, who would
you say is the No. 1 Russian?
A.—Under the Soviet system pf
Communist Party monopoly, Khrush-chev
as first Secretary is unquestion-ably
No. 1 of the 11 members of the
Presidium who make basic policy.
S3 far asoverall authority and pres-tige
go, Khrushchev hasa slight edge
on Bulganin. But power is appa-rently
shared with otlier members
of the Presidium including Molotov
and Malenkov. I have heard no on^
call Khrushchev 'Khozzyain" or
"boss" as Stalin was frequently de-signated.
Q.—Suppose you should ask a Rus­sian
if he really thinks he /has a
choice when he votes?
A.—A simple Russian would say he
has the choice of voting for. a single
list of candidates or against them.^
by Crossing out names on the ballot,
The ballots contain only one name
for each off ice. Other Russians might
insist that some choice is enjoyed at
factory and farm mass meetings
where candidates are picked.
Q.—What kind of TV programs do
Russians see?
A.—The accent is on cultural pro­grams
with most TV time devoted to
plays, films, concerts and newsreels
There are no commercials, soap ope^
ras, crimes or iviolence, unless related
to var scenes. The nearest equiva-lent
to American programs are pup-pet
shows for children. Recent
changes include short weekly Ameri­can
newsreels, foreign sports and
light music.
Q:—Does the average Russian have
any desire to .visit countries outside
his own?
A.—Desire is putting it- mildly.
Russians are avid travellers inside
the country and extremely curious
about the outside world. Arelaxation
of internal and external tensions,
normalization of currency exöhange
and travel facilities would see^a flood
of Soviet tourists abroad if arrange-ments
could be made. This year saw
the first modest attempt to permit
private Soviet citizens to travel' to
East European countries and to Fin­land
and Sweden..
,Q.—Are there evident civil defense
preparations?
A.—'Nothing in the way of air raid
tests or public shelters. Occasiona.lly
hewspapers publish guarded descrip-tions
of the potentialities of the H -
bomb but there is ho specific specu-lation,
such, as in American news-papers,
about what it would dp to a
certain city. '
'Q.—Do the Riissian people them-selves
seem to reflect a softening in
their perisohal behavipr?
A.-r-iUnquestionably.. They smile,
laugh and taik more freely among
themselveis and with foreigners. They
exchange poiitical anecdotes • and
write increasing numbers of critical
lettei*s to the newspapers.
Q.—During courtship. Tvhere do
young Moscöw boys and girls go for
entertainment? V/L
A.—The theaters, concert halls,
restaurants and parks -of "ctilture
and rest" as weil as factöry clöbs are
fayörite places, In the summer time
the parks arrange open-air folk and
ballrbom, däncing. In the winters
there is much ice-skatihg and skiing.
Displäys of affection are rare in pub­lic
although, in the summer time, the
youths swarm to the parks, woods
and riverbanks. Automobile necking
is not a communist luxury,
Q;—Is there any change in woni-en'is
lashions or appe^rance?
' A.—Yes, women are becoming i n ­creasingly
more style conscioiis, and
newspaper editorials encourage them.
Black-heeled nylons are the rage this
f ali. Moscow saw several big: f ashion
shows this j year and the circulation
of fashion magazines is mcreasing,
Some Chinese: silk, Italian and
French textlles are now available.
The women are on a style trend of
reveahng rather than conceaUng
their figures. The beauty parlors
are flourishing. But Russian gh-ls
are still a long way from the elegance
of Western women.
Q^Do you think the likelihood of
war with Russia.has lessened?
A.—Definite:y yes. World tensions
have graduälly been reduced since
the end of the Korean war, culminat-ing
with the Geneva conference;
Aside from the progress toward nor­malization
of East-West relations in
the last two years,, there: is growing
reaUzation thatr there is a military
stalemate as the resirit of nuclear
weapons whioh make war mutually
suicidai. The H-bomb is probably
the strongest single deterrent to •war.
Prföident oi
. aSCen McKenzie - R ^^
d«Jt of the Amateur
of Canada Jast Saturd
day AAU convention
He succeeds Ätorrie B;
reaJ.
.I>eanls White of Mo
Trifunov are nationj
wrestang committee
pectively, while Fred
named to handJe tr£
Bernard Neuman of
placed in charge of g
Harry , lE^^rm : pf •
charge pf weightliftih'
TACTFU
"IVe decided öh a n
said the young mothe
her Euphrosyne."
The husband did no
selection but was tactf
"Splendid," he sai
"The first girl r ever lo
E-uphrösyne."
There vas a brief
We'll call her: Elizab
mother," his wife said,
^NICEFIGUI
A girl bougOit a t:(
Ohristmas lottery, am
having the ticket ni
turned out to be the •
ber, and she received
A reporter called u
esked; "Why did you e
ticket 51?"
"Weil," she said, "foi
I dreamed of number
scvens are 51, so I boug
Dor?'t 'Do It Youn
By BOB WABD
"Our collective farm is called 'Kom-somol'
(Young Communist) and so I
regard myself - as a; mraiber ofv-, the
Komsomol. ^'''''•''^
"I don't lagbehiind the youngsters.
Last year I had 270 work days to. my
Credit.
"Age has no terrors for me. •
• "They say Uve jand leärn. l've lived
147 years, and still I've'( cöme fö learn
some more." ' "
One day Mahmud went to tour the
Kremlin. It vas-suggested that he go
by the undereröundräilway system,
the Metro.
He Jooked distrustfully ä t his advi-ser,
and said: "I don't think we*ll gö
down there!" .
He weht on to the Lenin and Stalin
Mausoleum^ and from the mausoleum
to the Kremlin.
\Moscow made a deep impression on
Mahmud. As he was leaving for hoine
he said: "Next year Tm coming
again,",:,: ' /
And. theh quietly he vhispered:
"Then we'll have a ride on that tm-derground
tramway!"
We see by the ads in the; news-papers
that there is a growing drive
to get folk to "do i t yourself."
And, quite naturally, ourmissus has
been seeing, these items too.
Thus it is that for many, many
weeks, or might even be yearSi-Amy
has heen hounding her ' 'setter" to
become more of a carpenter dog and
do more odd jobs around the house.
'Unfortunately some years ago when
we were younger and less experienced
as a husband than we now are we
did buy a "Mr. Fix-it" book. We might
explain that our buying the book was
to help out the UE Ladies' Auxiliary
who were liandling different kinds of
books'to-^raise funds for some worthy
cause.
Looking back on it ali Tiovf we feel
that we should have bought a book
entitled ?'Fine Grocheting Work For
Trimming Union Suits." Or, indeed,
we might even have bought the one
titled "How to Rid your Factory of
Timestudy Men."
But. no, we had to go and buy a
book just chuckful of ideas, hints and
instructions on virtually every aspect
of jobs around the house.
Now .we just might confide here
that we; never thought the book
would eVer be used on us i n the Tväy
thatit ha& •We recköned that it would
be a gööd book toput the teapot pn;
or being a rather large book, one
which might be used to prop. up
one pf. öur wihdowö ^rhich won't stay
O p e n . ,
But instead we coiistantly found
ourself On the defensive when:iit came
tp explaining ,howcpme we hadn't
' done it oufself" oh the multitudirious
multitude of jobs around home.
;.Of late, however, we have switched
tö:the öffensive. And,;might we add,
with ästpuhdingly good results; ..
The basis of our success is that sev­eral
months back we began to as-semble
äh array pf ciippings about
people ^ho ''did itthenaselves" and
what. häppened to them. We kept
reäding them out to Amy and some-times
pasted them around ih the
house whereshe'd be sure to see
tliem., •
. Conslder the case of Hubert
Hewood.'His wife hounded him to do
a job. Hubert found that he didn't
have the proper tools. This, inci-dentally
is one of the very best ex-cuses
for getting out öf jobs.
But Huberfs wife kept after him,
finally suggesting that he should bor-row
the>jtie^eded tools from a neigh-bor.
Hubert reluctantly a^eed to do
f this. • ] V-v .; •>•.• {
':; So whäift häppened?'He f eli in love
with his neighbor's wif e, divorced his
own, and ran off with the lady neigh-bor,
• •,
Cdjse hiimber two. Here was a fel-lowf
\^hq/>wfi§ talked into i^äperlng a
couple of'^ robm3.''*Wlien he had the
job finished he discovered that his
whole ;jtamily wa5 misslng. Never
would have found them if a visitor
several ,weeks later had not noticed
that yfjere serveral big lumps on the
Wall. The chap, so he claims. Just
thought that he'd mixed the paste a
little too heavy.
Another item was about ä poor
misguldedcitlzen, victlmized by ali of
the cold war taik in.the paper, who
decided to build himself a bomb
shelter. Pöor fellow built himself right
into it,, Jlhd the only wäy; his Tvife
could g^äilm out wäs by usiäg dyna-mite."
:"^^ •> •• • ' ••
- Ap^iJ^ntly she wgs as inexperi-enced
in using T.N.T.
building . . . used too n
direction in which this:
tizen was last seen 1
indicate that he might
erating a "do it thyself
Service.
Then there was the
fello'w 'who 'sawe'd off
doing his :cwn prunin?.
The book of instructic
which side of the llmb
This lack of informatioi
added,. came as a very
serious joit. The vietin
it yourself" frenzy can
one of the city hospita
noons a week.
Then there was the
husband and wife, hap
for years, who got into i
gument about what coloi
kitchen.
Ended up with him SIJ
the mouth with a full 3
light diarreuse. This
happy ending tho coz th
vinced his wife that th
color just wouldn't go w
plexion anyway.
.We think the story ths
vinced Amy that "doing
wasn't ali that its cracl
concerned a husband wl-.
• an upstairs window sIH.
He had to lean out of
to do the job and frie:
behind his shoulder givi
of advice.
Finally hubby said "if 3
what Tm doing do it
she did.
She pushed him out.
• It so\ häppened that
pails •vvere below'the wini
pöor guylanded right. in
Just about this time a
rived Scots couple . pas
house and saw the husi
garbage pail.
"Canadiäns . are • awf
people," said the husbanc
: "Aye," said his wifc, ";
never wöuld have throv
Why, he looks good enc
anither ten yearsi"
We have a whole file i
equally horrible examples
certainly cooled do'.vn
yourself" cräze around
home.:
Anytime now that Amy
tp think öf some job we i
rush for - our file whic!
itemized from "Attics to Z
•We then place our f lie :
and lovingly ask, "is thei
you'd like to have done de
Herself now says "No. o
ing at ali. Just go back
that interesting football
maybe yöu'd like to have
this aftemoon."
Citizens, this is really. I
• As ,we meander back to
lie down pn the couch we
sbmetimes we do feel a i :
of conscience. But after
better to have; a little-trouble
than ali of the hor
that happen to some fplks
themselves?"
COMING VP
The Captain of a small
liner approached a misei
ing young woman leanin;
railing.
"Waitlng for the mooi
Lp?" he asked.
"Oh lord!" groaned the
that got to come up too?'
:•''Tl^:l^!'^r>|^:•t^'^Vi^?lV:•^^/:^^;•:•:^v^''•.^